To : Daniel Mitchell Wyatt

This is going to be my first love letter to my future son (hopefully)
So weird... >.<"

I'm yet again reading another Chit Lit that I always do
I found this interesting name in one of the character
I don't usually ogle about character's name but this name caught my attention
So, I want to name you, Daniel Mitchell Wyatt
The person I'll be marrying is still in the verge of darkness
But naming you Daniel Mitchell Wyatt seems cool... XD do you like it?
If daddy doesn't like it, I'll separate them then. Either it's Daniel or Mitchell or Wyatt

I want to call out 'Danny' when you run around in your usual hyper active self
I want to call out 'Daniel Mitchell Wyatt' when you misbehave and gets into trouble
I want to call out 'sweetheart' when you sulk and cry

So, Danny, do you like your name?
It may not come from a famous political figure
Or anyone cool
The name just came from a Chit Lit character
But this Daniel Mitchell Wyatt has a charm like his father that makes other mother envy how gorgeous my son is
And make girls even at the age of 2 swarm and their heart skip a bit with your charming effortless smile
And this Daniel made the best out of Donovan's (a restaurant)

Fill your life with wisdom and colour
And make it worth every second

I love you, Danny

From mummy <3

It's FREE to Dream

She said "It's FREE to dream, so why not dream?"

A typical girl dreaming about finding the perfect guy
A person who's everything a girl would want
Flawless skin, dreamy eyes, kissable lips, great personality, well-to-do, and most importantly loves you more than anything in the world

A typical guy dreaming about finding the perfect girl
A person who's everything guy ask for
Long wavy hair, deep eyes, cherry lips, hot body, great personality, and most importantly loves you more than anything in the world

But when reality hits you hard in the head, the guy/girl never really does appear
If he/she does, they are just a passerby in your life
Where you can only wish and hope he/she would be yours

And then again, when you find the most imperfect person
He/She may just change the rest of your life
Fulfilling more than dreams you could ever dream
Making a true REALITY love story...

So, what's being 20 got to do with love and potions? DREAM
As she said, it's FREE to dream
Make every portion of your brain filled with the wildest, craziest dream you can ever get
Then get on with life... XD

True love

Is it when someone falls in love
They lose grip of reality
And end up being a love slave
Or is it true love?

Is it when someone falls in love
They are blinded by what’s before them
And end up lying to themselves about it
Or is it true love?

Is it when someone falls in love
They push all senses out
And end up being a fool
Or is it true love?

I may not know what true love is
But I know true love is something
Beautiful
Cherish able
Blissful

Wedding Plan

1. how old are you?
19 going on 20 this august ^^

2. are you single?
Yuppie~ ^^

3. at what age do you think you'll get married?
Hopefully 26? is it too early?

4. do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?
I'm single so, who am I suppose to marry?

5. if not, who do you want to marry?
I have celebrity crushes... Jo Kyuhyun & Kim Taekwan aka HwiChan

6. who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
whoever in my BFF who isn't married yet that time! XD

7. do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
beach wedding!!!

8. where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
Anywhere he want to take me... too cheesy?
I hope to go Paris =)

9. how many guests do you think you'll invite?
Dont know... but for me, I just want to invite a few close friends and family...
keep the wedding small yet merry

10. will that include your exes?
IF i have exes, and if we are still friends, why not?

11. how many layers of cake do you want?
3?

12. when do you want to get married, morning or evening?
Evening~ ^^

13. name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
Marry You by SuJu! or seriously, Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You

14. do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon&fork?knife?
i prefer fine dining but the elders may not be comfortable using them... so, normal spoon & fork

15. champagne or red wine?
Champagne <3

16. honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
right after~ ^^

17. money or household items?
Money... XD

18. how many kids would you like to have?
2 or 3.. XD

19. will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
Sure... if he wants to... I want to take photos

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Posting this up too! hopefully to see Caca & Ayu post it in theirs! ^^

My Kind of Guy

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- not really... as long as he's cute to me... XD

2. Smart?
- yesh!

3. Preferred age?
- older than me... =)

4. Preferred height?
- 180cm? XD too much?

5. How about sense of humor?
- yup! make me smile when i'm down... XD

6. How about piercings?
- not really... >.<"

7. Accepts you for who you are?
- of course! i'm not going to change who i am for a guy...

8. Pink hair?
- O_O NO!

9. Mushy or no?
- nope... but occasionally, yeah... XD

10. Thin or fat?
- in between... XD

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- prefer asians...

12. Long hair or short hair?
- short... clean cut...

13. Plastic or metal?
- what?

14. Smells good?
- hehe... the smell of soap... XD

15. Smoker?
- NO!

16. Drinker?
- no! but occasionally it's ok i gues...

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
- dont really mind...

18. Musically inclined?
- YESH! but even if he's not, he'll be ok.. =)

19. Plays piano?
- doesnt matter but if he does, it's a bonus

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- acoustic guitar! ^^ wanna ask him to teach me if he does

21. Plays violin?
- awesome! ^^

22. Sings very good?
- ^^ too good to be true...

23. Vain?
- erm... nah...

24. With glasses?
- hehe... I have weakness for cute guys in glasses... XD

25. With braces?
- why not? I had braces once... ^^

26. Shy type?
- occasioanlly yeah... ^^

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- both? XD

28. Active or passive?
- both again...

29. Tight or bomb?
- meaning?

30. Singer or dancer?
- both =)

31. stunner?
- dunno...

32. Hiphop?
- anything he likes...

33. Earrings?
- ok i guess but prefer no...

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
- >.<" no...

35. Dimples?
- cute! ^^

36. Bookworm?
- sure... we'll visit the bookstores one day...

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- sure! i communicate better in writing...

38. Playful?
- yesh! ^^

39. Flirt?
- depends... >.<"

40. Poem writer?
- sure... would be fun... XD teasing him after reading it...

41. Serious?
- in love? yes...

42. Campus crush?
- would be cool... =)

43. Painter?
- if he likes it, why not?

44. Religious?
- erm... as long as he's not too religious... then it's ok...

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- would be fun but dont annoy anyone...

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- computer games geek... *ehemkyuehem*

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- seriously? then teach me....XD

48. Loyal or faithful?
- faithful...

49. good kisser
- *blush*

50. loves children??
- ^^

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I'm posting this up cause since Caca & Ayu has posted this up... XD
Caca, my answers are bias too! see if you can guess who 'he' is

Draw With Me

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I'm sharing this cause I think this short anime is really meaningful and sad...
As emo as I am, I hope you enjoy watching this... =)

Yiruma

As I lay my fingers across the black and white keys, I thought about him. The day when I first met him, the day when he asked me out, the day when he told me he loved me, the day he cooked for me and the day where we kiss under the rain.

Every key on this delicate piano, reminds me bits and pieces of him. Only the good ones. Because, he played The Things I Really Like at the piano room at our college when we first met. Because he played The Moment while asking me out. Because he played Destiny of Love on the white piano at his house when he told me he loved me. Because he played Do You after our dinner. Because he played Kiss The Rain after we kiss.

Tears falls, as I try to keep up with the rhythm of Kiss The Rain. With the slow sad melody, I missed him. More than words could describe. He was my first love. And when he left, he didn’t tell me why or say goodbye. He just left this piano piece and let me fill in the blanks.

How was I suppose to do so when I’m left clueless?
--------

This is an open ended oneshot, do you(readers) mind to continue it for me? =)

Good Man (adapted from Ayu's Good Man oneshot)

They say a guy and a girl will never be just best friends.

I smiled awkwardly when he first introduced me to his girlfriend. Having the cup of coffee that I usually loved, today, seem a little bitter. Looking at the two of them cuddling one another, he was telling me how they met and ended up together. Trying to look attentive when I knew my soul had flew out of the cafe, wanting to tell him ‘I know how you two ended up together! I was there when you told me how pretty she was, how sweet she was, how nervous you were when you’re going to confess’ but instead, I kept everything inside and let him speak. After drinking finish my cup of coffee, I made up an excuse to leave. Don’t think I’ll be able to stand the love atmosphere in front of me before throwing up the cuppa I just had.

I didn’t remember when I’d fell in love with him but he had become a habit to me. Always there for me and me being there for him habit. I knew him as much as he knew about me. Except for my little crush for him. He didn’t know how much it hurt seeing him falling in love with another. I tried dating other guys but I could never open up to them as much as I did with him.

Ever since he started training to be a singer, an idol, the time we spend with each other become less. At the least expected time, I would find myself thinking about him and wondered if he thought about me as much as I did. Hoping that our friendship wouldn’t just end there, I text, call and try to suit his tight schedule to meet even if it’s late at night.

It seems so obvious to others about my crush. Everyone except him. My best friend, Ayu has a crush on his friend when we went out for picnic with the rest of his team members. He and I tried to bring the two together but they don’t seem to appreciate our effort.

At one random night, I received a call from him, asking to meet. It was three in the morning and drizzling outside. I quickly grab my jacket and brought an extra in case he forgot his like he always does. Got into a cab and was directed to the direction he gave. Sitting on a bench, his face buried in his hands, as water trickled from his wet hair. The sight of him broke my heart. I wanted to just go over him and hug him tight, telling him ‘You’ll be alright because you have me’, but I knew it forbids in our friendship. I lay the extra jacket on him and sat next to him. I place my hand on his shoulder as he spoke up. Apparently, his girlfriend broke up with him. Even though I felt the pain aching in my heart because of his sadness, I somehow felt a little joy because I knew he could have found someone better. Maybe it wouldn’t be me but as I knew him, that girl wasn’t his cup of coffee. Tried to cheer him up. He smiled a little and I replied it. He stoned for a moment, then moved closer to me and we kissed. Didn’t know how to response to it, I just smiled awkwardly and asked him to go back to the dorm before his manager found him missing.

A few months later, he confessed his feelings to me. I was sceptical but felt happy because he finally sees me. I was officially his girlfriend, not just a best friend. Despite his busy schedules, he calls and texts me whenever he could. It was enough to keep me smiling all day. The last time we met was on Christmas where we went ski boarding with Ayu and the boys. We had lots of fun with snow ball fights and that was the first time he told me he loves me.

He invited me and Ayu to go to their first fan meeting. We got the front row! We had light sticks and made placards to show our support. They were awesome. After the many years of hard training, they could finally stand on stage and show the people of Korea what Beast was made of. Talent. They even had 4Minute as their performing guest. Enjoying their performance as much, still waiting for the finale song, Good Man. It was a cover song that they had been practicing hard on. Once they were on stage, they sang beautifully.

As they end the song, he made an announcement. He said that the song was dedicated to all Beast fans and he personally dedicated it to me while Ayu’s crush for her. We were struck dumbfounded when he said that. We were then escorted to the stage by the guards in charge. He walked up to me and hugged me. I felt his steady breath on my hair and he kissed my hair. I hugged him back. No words could describe how I felt at that time. The secret diary I wrote when I thought about him, the wish and hope I had about him has come true. I feel blessed with love being in his arms.

They say a guy and a girl will never be just best friends. He isn’t my best friend anymore. He’s my boyfriend, Yoon Doo Joon.

My First Crush

I wish we can be closer. I wish we can be more than just a mutual friend. I wish you can see me like how I see you.

The tingly feeling I always have when he walked by. The heart pumping feeling I always have when you smile (even if it wasn’t meant for me). The happiest day of my life, when we first chatted online.

“Hey, do I know you?” he asked.
“Nope but I know you” I answered.
“Really? How do you know me?” he asked again.
“I’m a stalker. XD” she smirked.
“Haha...” he laughed literally.

This is how our conversation started. The more we talked, the deeper I know into your past. The more we shared, the deeper the feeling I have for you. Everyone knows about my ‘little’ crush. Everyone but you.

“I’m looking for someone to buy coffee for me cause I’ll be too busy to do anything on that day” I said.
“What coffee do you want?” he asked.
“I drink any coffee =)” I answered.
“Is mocha ok?” he asked.
“Yup! Anything to keep me going” I said.
“Tomorrow at 10.30 a.m. I’ll send the coffee to you” he said.
“Really?! Thank you! =)” I said.

When I offered to pay you back, you said it’s a treat but I insisted. You said to donate it to the donation box. I don’t think I’ll ever find another guy as generous as you. The kind of prince I’ll never even think about meeting. Unknowingly, you strike another point in my heart.

Then, you asked me to join you to some business seminar. I didn’t want to go but my friends insisted, saying I’ll get the opportunity to get close to you. Indeed I did. You told me about how you earn every single penny that you spend by teaching tuition classes. It was tiring but for you, it’s all worth it. It was great knowing you that day but to you, it’s just a business relationship.

As time passed, the conversation we share seems to lessen. As days goes by, the further we were apart. And, eventually stop.

Looking at posts on Plurk, I try to stay anonymous, trying to cheer you up when you’re down. Knowing that I’m just another someone who added you there and not a friend, I still wish you would notice me.

I wonder someday if I’ll be noticeable, maybe not to you. But someone more worth my attention, heart and love.
----



After months of short conversations and none speaking, we finally chatted longer than our last conversation. Knowing you has someone in mind but not me, sends a sting to my heart but I’m trying to keep it cool and be supportive.

“tohkokchung i wish you know what I am thinking”

I want to know what you are thinking when I said it but you never tell. Just because I’m too stubborn to admit that he has someone else in mind. Even though knowing from the start that there won’t be a chance for me but I still didn’t want to admit it. I’m probably too scared to know. Too timid to ask. Too worry to find out. But I know when I do, I know it will hurt.

My classmate tells me I’m stupid for not taking the first step. She may be right but if I do, it’ll just get my hopes up and if he rejects what I have, it’ll just be like being pushed from a sixty story high building. Crushed into millions of pieces where no tears can ever describe how bad the whole journey will be.

I wish I can get you out from my mind.

My Journal

The words I write,
The photos I upload,
Speaks everthing I'm feeling.

credits : Kurt Halsey

Did You?

Did you ever see me as me before?
See me bash someone up with words
See me work hard
Just wishing a day goes as plan

Did you ever hear me as me before?
Hear me say ‘I hate being here’
Hear me slamming the door
Just wanting some understanding

Did you ever feel me as me before?
Feel the stress I’m going through
Feel me screaming like no tomorrow
Just to get everything out of my chest

Did you ever feel disappointed with me as me before?
Seeing me going against your wishes
Hear me say words that break your heart
Feel me when I write this
Just need you to know

I may not a fillial daughter
I may not like everything about this family
I may not understand you like you do
But I'm just wanting to grow out of everything

Heart broken In The New Year

Staring out the sliding glass door, while mist starts forming on it, thoughts starts flashing like a movie at the back of her mind. In a week, she lost her job, her love, her desire to continue any further of what intended. She quitted after finishing the last event of the year, hoping to go on a holiday with her love and maybe settling down. But things didn’t work the way it planned. Wondering how can words can connect so easily in his mouth like it was meant to be. Wondering how swiftly he can pack all his stuff and walked out of the house like it didn’t mattered. Wondering what’s not of her to satisfy and what’s of the other to satisfy him. Was it really so obvious? So obvious that she was too blinded to see it written over the whole relationship. Wrecked.

She let out a sigh as strings of tears begin to flow. A new year without the perfect kiss from the perfect him. She wipes away the tears and places the cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table as she walked into the empty room they once share. Closet that’s half empty greets her as she opens it. She climbed into the empty space and sat with her legs wrap close to her chest, building a protection wall to prevent her from crying. But she knew too well the loneliness that creeps into her heart the moment she climbed in. The smell of his newly ironed shirts and pants. The smell of his Calvin Klein cologne.

Trying to stop the piercing at the back of her eyes, trying to hold onto her heart so it wouldn’t break, trying to stop thinking about what he said.

“You were never there. In your eyes, there’s only your work and I was always second. When do I ever come first? She’s different. She loves me and so do I.” He said.
“I love you too” she said.
“But not as much you love your job” he said.
“Do you see the disappointment drawn on my face? Do you hear my heart breaking every single time you walked out on me because duty calls?” he asked. She remained silent.
“No. But she does. And she fills the loneliness of me” he continued.
“I’m sorry it had to end this way. Goodbye”

His last words ring in her head. Like a wakeup call, his words called upon her. But she couldn’t do anything now to fix the broken pieces. Maybe next time, maybe she’ll be more of a lover to a much worthy guy than just a roommate. Maybe next time, maybe she’ll be more conscious about her surroundings than drown herself in work. Maybe next time, maybe she’ll see the smile and passion on one’s eyes looking at her like how she did towards him. And maybe next time, maybe she’ll be a more worthy woman to love.

For now, let her mourn in her little own world as other couples kiss under the shower of fireworks and make love promises. For time will heal. As a new year brings a new beginning of another chapter of life.

2010

Today my life begins
As we gather and mourn for 2009
And welcome a new hope of 2010

Today my life begins
Of what seems so dark
Will be kept as a lesson

Today my life begins
Of what seems so bright
Will be kept as memories

Today my life begins
Let the wounds heal
Let the light shed upon

Today my life begins
As I await for a better journey
In the year of 2010.