Insecurities

The question that I had kept in my heart all this while had been answered. Insecurities.
Comparisons and curiousity are the 2 main issue that caused my insecurities.
But it was also the comparisons and curiousity that lift the question from my heart.
I asked questions that I never thought I would ask because I didn't know how to open my mouth.
The answers that I got, I chose to believe it instead of doubting it.
I no longer care about the 'why and how' because I got my reassurance.
And I wish to give him the same reassurance.

I started a relationship knowing that us wouldn't be easy. Being apart from each other and all. I want you to know that I won't fall for some guy who is younger and more handsome and drives an Audi TT because I've fallen for someone who is much better than all that. He's more than I could ever dream of. He the one that I love. =)

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I told my colleague about my insecurities and she told me this.

It takes a lot of strength, courage, faith, understanding and trust to sustain a long distance relationship. Most importantly give you both time to mature in this relationship, meaning your relationship is still in the infant stage. But it's built on a good foundation, that's a good thing =)

It's normal for any new couples to be like that ^^. Likewise you may also feel the same. Living apart really tests each other's strengths and weaknesses. You will learn a lot from here.

천린 혜은 ♥

He's back for holiday!
Met him for the first time after we got together
Butterflies~ Many of them! I still have them now whenever he ask to meet >.<"
Watched a movie with him and
Funny dinner when we had to SOS his friend to help us finish our food
He and his friend look really stuffed but they tried their best... Kekeke...
We were awkward! But me had a good time with him =)
Gave him the cheesecake I baked when he sent me home
Was so reluctant to give it to him because I'm really worried that it won't taste good
The next day, even after he told me that he and his mum liked the cake, I still worry
Irene wanted to kill me cause I was so nervous to read his text LOL!

This week I cancelled many dates with my girls to meet him and this is what they say
'Hmph! I knew it! Giving up on you' *in Hokkien* XD
But I'm really happy that he got to meet my friends and Louis! ROFL!
And they like him =)
Bonus for him when they say 'he don't look like he's older than us'

Mum said something that made me feel touched
She said that I shouldn't go out till late with him so that his parents wouldn't get a bad impression of me and my family thinking that her family allows her to go out till late
And that I should appreciate moments with her and dad cause I may be leaving them for work in the future (she's hinting Singapore)
She has a world of chances for me, that's why I love her *huggies mummy*

I think we are less awkward now... are we, love?

I didn't talk throughout the whole journey when he sent me home today because I know myself too well that I'll cry if I was to tell you I'll miss you and I love you
Sorry, love ♥

Overall, my whole week is filled with smiles and butterflies =)

From Singapore with ♥



From Redang with ♥



You the only boy that I need
The only one that I dream about endlessly
You know I think you’re perfect
For all the wait I know you’re worth it
- Kina Granis & David Choi, The Way You Are

ps: that's our name in korean, love

끝! (End!)

My internship ended!
My boss had been really open and nice to me
From surprise visit to confidential report about my performance, he'll tell me
I got A for punctuality and attendance! Ha! Guess my arriving early habit paid off XD
I get to learn a lot of critical thinking and about life from him!
Got to do my first Dana with him too! It was a great experience! =)
Thank you, Mr. Hor

I'll definitely miss lunch time with Irene and Evelyn! <3
Our routine of having ice cream after lunch once every week is the fun part!
And how we walk to Jaya almost every week for the same old Milo Ais and Chapati Gulung Sayur, and of course our favourite guy there who remembers our order! XD
Also, my boss will bring us to funny places for home style food which offers cheap and extremely good food!
Practically everyone who goes there knows everyone! We're the awkward ones who don't know them XD

Remembered my first day, I came at 8! And Alan was the first friend I made from the other company
Been waiting outside my company EVERYDAY since then for my boss/Irene to come and open the door for me!
He and another few guys keep seeing me waiting and smiled 'good morning, still so early?' the regular questions I get asked!
Alan once said 'next time bring a folding chair along then you can sit and wait for your colleagues to come' ROFL! I'll miss him for sure!
And he gave me invites to the H Artistry event <3
Got to know other few friends from the other companies
I'm famous for all the wrong reason =.=" coming early!

Irene: you're going to miss that buffy guy
Me: No! I'll miss that spiky hair guy just because he looks so much like my cousin! XD

One thing that I won't be missing is the girls who smoke in the washroom! *faints*

Conclusion, I had a great 3months! =)

Eating Disorder

Always the guilt after you eat?
I've been there, done that
It got really bad at one point where I feel like vomiting when I see my friends eat
This freaked me out and it is when I told myself enough is enough
This is why I'm writing an entry for you
Because I care! And you know Jesse cares!
And I want you to know that you have friends and family with you =)

1) Chocolate Diet
For 3 consecutive days, I had nothing but chocolate and water
A row a day. THAT'S IT!

2) 1 meal per day (lunch/dinner)
skip breakfast, had lunch, skip dinner
skip breakfast, skip lunch, had dinner
lost 10kg within a year

3) Water Diet
Drank only water for 2 consecutive days
No. Serious.

If you think you can beat me in this, time for you to seek for help.
Eating disorder isn't something to kid about
It works of course, all these diets, but for how long can one keep up with this?

Personal advice, NOTHING works better than exercise
If I am in LA right now, I'll bug you out of bed and drag you to the gym or go for a jog by the park
If you don't like this, we'll go for Salsa lessons together! Hey, it takes two to tango =)
We'll ask Jesse to come along! It's a fun activity and you can still feel fit!
After every session, we'll go have some yummylicious low-fat frozen yogurt or make fruit smoothies!
Make everything taste like HEAVEN! =)

I'm now picking up on my meals and maintaining a 3meals per day lifestyle! =)
I got my colleagues, friends and him to nag and ask me if I've eaten @_@ everyday!
Annoying, I know but they are great encouragement!
Me love you, Caca darling~
Take good care of yourself k? *huggies*