A Letter Never Sent

Dear love,

How are you? Have you been thinking about me? I have.

Walking on the streets of Serangoon, having your favourite fish slice soup noodles, and thinking about the good times we had together. I missed you, I missed us. Memories that filled me in more ways than I cannot imagine. Like a movie I watched over hundreds, no thousands of times again but they never failed to make me cry a river every single time. Unlike The Notebook, we did not grow old together. Unlike The Wedding, we did not celebrate a mundane wedding anniversary. Unlike P.S. I Love You, you weren't there when I needed you the most.

I chose to leave before you do, so I wouldn't have to see your back and suppressing the urge to hug you, hold onto you. I chose to leave before you do, because I knew you wouldn't felt the way I did. I chose to leave before you do, so you wouldn't remember me in tears as you left. I chose to leave  before you do so you'll remember my smile.

I always tell myself that I am alright, that I am strong. I always thought I am okay as long as I smile, always thought it's okay even if we met. But the other day when I saw you at the mall holding her hands, the same eyes that looked at me is now looking at someone else's, the same lips that had touched mine is now touching someone else's, unknowingly my tears fell and I knew I wasn't alright. Little did I know that you were deeply pushed into a corner of my heart where I keep all my greatest fears.

Seeing you smile, seeing you happy had left reality knocked me hard in the head that you were better off without me. However, I was left with a baggage filled with fears, doubts, mistrust, anger, and sadness. I hope one day someone will take enough effort and love to unpack this baggage.

Love,
My heart.

To: BFF

I remember my first day of school where I ended up in Mahir
You were my class rep.
You were always fighting with Kanchlla for the long ruler
Just to show who's boss
You can see the petrified look on our faces
When you come towards us asking us to keep quiet

I remember my first time when I met you
In SKCB's school canteen
Didn't know much about you then
But I often see you roaming in the canteen
Especially when we were lining up to buy food

I remember my first fight in school
You were with Angeline, Vivien and Melissa
How much I hated you
We just didn't click like we do now
There's always something that triggers me
About you that I didn't like

I remember my first fan craze of idol in school
You and I were rambling how cool they are
Those sick faces that appears when we start talking 'nonsense'
Text-ing each other almost everyday about the fantasies
But we enjoyed dreaming about them
My 'Niu Nai' and your 'Ah Di'

We were 14 when we clicked
All those ugly fights we had with our friends
All those unhappy memories because of misunderstanding with others
Despite all that, we share lots of laughter and tears
There's always a shoulder there for us to lean on

We were 16 when we sit at the second table on the left
Doing homeworks during Physics and Biology
Copying maths and add maths homeworks from each other
Planning to skip classes
And the excitement of RECESS!

We were 17 when we play truant every time the sky cries
Having the best of both world
We studied hard and played hard
The sting at the back of our eyes when we say goodbye
Oh, how we miss Pak Cik Harun's delicious FOOD!

You are Lim XiYen, my first Class Rep. of 1Mahir
You are Loo AiLing, a passerby that I knew
You are Chew ShiJee, my first "enemy"
You are AnnShyen, my first fandom craze friend
You are my BFF =)

To : Daniel Mitchell Wyatt

This is going to be my first love letter to my future son (hopefully)
So weird... >.<"

I'm yet again reading another Chit Lit that I always do
I found this interesting name in one of the character
I don't usually ogle about character's name but this name caught my attention
So, I want to name you, Daniel Mitchell Wyatt
The person I'll be marrying is still in the verge of darkness
But naming you Daniel Mitchell Wyatt seems cool... XD do you like it?
If daddy doesn't like it, I'll separate them then. Either it's Daniel or Mitchell or Wyatt

I want to call out 'Danny' when you run around in your usual hyper active self
I want to call out 'Daniel Mitchell Wyatt' when you misbehave and gets into trouble
I want to call out 'sweetheart' when you sulk and cry

So, Danny, do you like your name?
It may not come from a famous political figure
Or anyone cool
The name just came from a Chit Lit character
But this Daniel Mitchell Wyatt has a charm like his father that makes other mother envy how gorgeous my son is
And make girls even at the age of 2 swarm and their heart skip a bit with your charming effortless smile
And this Daniel made the best out of Donovan's (a restaurant)

Fill your life with wisdom and colour
And make it worth every second

I love you, Danny

From mummy <3